Movement and Relaxation

Class today was used for processing. We took about 10 minutes to move in the space, and get into our bodies, and then took whatever time we needed to relax and process. Honestly, I think I was a little distracted, because I had a test to take right after this class, then I would be working until midnight. So I sort of had a hard time really focusing on the items of this class instead of my long day ahead of me. But, something interesting I did notice was that I was able to relax more easily than I normally could when under stress.

I'm still trying to notice if Alexander technique is making a difference in my movement, but I don't think I'm really seeing a whole lot of change. I feel like I can tap into the changes when I'm purely focused on it, but when I start doing a combination, suddenly there are a million things to think about, and I feel myself slipping back into old habits. I'm really hoping for a change soon!

Modern Technique

We really went back to the basics in class today. Sister Wadsworth seemed to really be stressing the importance of having a solid foundation on technique in order to gain the freedom of movement, so we did a lot of technical movement today. I'm not going to lie, though...I didn't really enjoy it too much. So I just tried to focus on freeing up the range of motion in my hips, and in my head/neck/back.

I keep getting annoyed in class, though, because if I dance barefoot, my feet are too sticky (darn calluses just won't build...), and if I dance with socks on, I slide all over the place and I end up with more tension all throughout my body. I really need to find a way to get my calluses back so I can take my feet off of my list of concerns in class.

Anyway, I think I'm feeling a little more improvement in my neck area when I'm dancing...not as much as I would like, but even a little bit of change is good, I think. I'm still having a really hard time freeing up my hips, so I know I need to be working on that more.

Practice - One.on.One

- PRACTICE -

First thing in class today, we went over logistics and Sister Wadsworth gave us some reading assignments to be done in the next two weeks...which I'm actually pretty excited about. We haven't had any readings for a little bit, and I tend to really enjoy the readings for this class. So I'm looking forward to that.

Then we did some movement to get into our bodies a little bit, and to read where we are today. Then we did a really neat exercise. We paired up into partners, and me and Kelsey were together. So first, Kelsey just walked around the room for a bit while I just watched, looking for her tension patterns, and just her mannerisms in walking. Then, after a while, I started walking with her, trying to mimic those patterns and mannerisms. We did that for just a little bit before Sister Wadsworth stopped us.

She brought back the fact that we have to get out of our minds, and into our bodies. We're thinking too much, and not feeling enough. So we restarted the process, with the focus of trying to feel more than think through what we were attempting. As I started following Kelsey, I wasn't sure if I was really doing it right, but I didn't let myself dwell on that too much, because I figured that would lead to too much thinking. So instead, I just tried to glean the demeanor that Kelsey had, and tried to portray that myself. It was interesting.

Then when we switched, and Kelsey was mimicking my walk...it was really interesting to see. I felt like she probably did pretty good. I know that I tend to take pretty small steps, which she did, and I saw that I don't really move a ton. I could see some tension in her back, which I can feel in myself, too. It's just kind of weird seeing myself on another person's body. Kind of eerie.

- ONE.ON.ONE -

I really enjoyed today's one on one. We didn't do anything on the mats, but went with a chair instead. She still did the forward and up lengthening exercise, which is always fantastic, and then she had me stand up. I really wasn't expecting it...at all. She just applied some pressure, and suddenly I was standing. She did that a couple of times, and I noticed that I was sort of leaving my pelvis behind when I stood. So we tried it again, this time with me having warning of when I would be standing, and it was better. Then we did it again, and I adjusted my footing, and it was so much better. It just felt nice. I even felt more like I could breathe.

There was so much air going through my body, rather than just concentrated in my chest area, like it normally feels. Oh, it was great!

Then she wanted me to do some movement a little more dance-related, and I decided a relevé would be really good for me. I know I always hold a lot when I go on relevé. So, I held on to the back of the chair, and we did the same thing, with this movement. As I tried it first without the Alexander principles, I could feel that I hold tension in my hips, to try to keep myself upright. Then we applied the forward and up principle, and, again, it felt so much better! And it was just easier. I really hope I can hold onto this, and carry it through my technique classes and rehearsals. I felt all sorts of fantastic after this session. I had so much more breath and ease in my body. It's amazing how good of a mood it can put me in.

Modern Technique

I was having a little bit of a difficult time at the start of class today...I think it's partially because the floor was really disgusting. Since we start our warmup on the floor, I had a really hard time connecting just because I felt like I was holding myself up, instead of just allowing the floor to support me. Also, my hip is still bothering me, so some of the stuff we do in the warmup is hard for me to do full out, and I hate not doing everything. But it doesn't hurt quite as bad as it did a week ago, so I'll get there...I'm just not always very good at being patient.

During class we had a good discussion, about how we need to be sponges, and discover movement.

I need to be able to open up my mind, and allow my body to take on what's given to it. I can't grow if I'm not challenged, which is something I really need to remember. I tend to get in my comfort zone, where I'm happy to be content and complacent, and I get frustrated when I'm pulled out of that comfort zone. Whenever I look back on times when I was forced out of my comfort zone, that's when I've seen the most growth within myself.

We talked about how we have to be able to feel the movement, rather than trying to just think through everything. Obviously there has to be some thinking involved, but the movement has to come from a feeling place, and not from a thinking place. The thinking is there to assist, not perform. I know that when my movement comes from a thinking place, I go back to old habits and old tensions, and I get all sorts of weird in my movement. There is so much more freedom through feeling. I thought about how it's kind of like stability vs. mobility. You have to have just enough stability (thinking) to keep yourself up and moving, so that the mobility (feeling) can allow for the freedom of movement.

Going back to the "sponge" theory, we talked about how we are in the process of discovering our own movement. There are times when I know I tap into what is truly my movement, but otherwise I'm generally just mimicking movement that is given to me. It's by absorbing everything I'm taught, and sort of calling on what works for me that I can really learn how I move. For example: I grew up doing ballet, but then when I came up to school here, I decided that I wasn't very good at it, and I didn't really love doing it, either. But then this semester, I decided that I was going to do my best at it, and try applying somatic principles throughout, and see what I can learn from it. Surprisingly, I'm actually really enjoying ballet now! I'm still not a "ballerina", but I definitely don't dread going to class anymore.

I'm learning that keeping an open mind...I mean really open...is crucial to growth. I was the one limiting myself before, and now that I've decided to allow growth and change to happen...I think it may actually be happening! Pretty exciting, if you ask me!

Movement and Relaxation

Before we started our movement and relaxation, we took a minute for Sister Wadsworth to talk to us. She said that in our journals, several of us have mentioned how we feel like we're either stuck, or are awkward, off balance, or digressing...something along those lines. So obviously I perked up, waiting for what was coming next. Have we been approaching the whole theory absolutely wrong? Were we disgracing Alexander's name?

Not according to Sister Wadsworth.

Apparently, this is exactly how we should be feeling. This is the point of the process that we're supposed to be at. Because we're trying to reprogram our bodies, it was inevitable that we would feel this way.

So we went ahead and did some improv to get our bodies warm, and then did our own relaxation. As I was laying on my mat, I was thinking about what Sister Wadsworth had said. As I'm coming to realize that it's never fun trying to purge out bad habits, and relearning good ones. It makes me think of the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". I beg to differ. You most certainly can teach an old dog new tricks. All you need is a willing dog, lots of patience, and perspective to see the big picture. If you have someone who is unwilling to change, obviously they're not going to. There's no one who can decide that but themselves. And if they're willing, but don't have to patience to allow the process to happen, they'll just get frustrated, and won't make any progress. So, basically, by having patience and remembering that it will get better, I'll be able to move forward and get out of this awkward stage. I'm crossing my fingers!

Tech Class

I should have posted this on Friday, but I've sort of deliberately been putting it off. I've been kind of frustrated with myself. For some reason, I feel like I've been digressing this semester. The movement I'm doing this semester is so different than what I was working on last semester, that I think maybe it's just hard for both my brain and body to accept the changes. Even the actual Somatic approach is different. Not that different is bad, it's just that I'm definitely a creature of habit, and if I'm not ready for change, I have a harder time accepting it and taking it in. But I'm definitely working on it.

I've been really trying to focus on my head/neck/back relationship in tech class. I think it's been pretty good...but in turn, I've sort of been neglecting the rest of my body. In my one-on-one on Thursday, she held onto my knees while I was in semi-supine, so I could try to release some tension I hold in my hips. It was super helpful to feel the difference between holding just enough to keep my legs up, and holding unnecessary tension. However...I wish I had thought about it a little bit more in class on Friday. Somehow I did something to mess up my hip that day...it's still bothering me quite a bit. I'm really hoping to tap into these Alexander techniques more to be able to get rid of my stinkin' bad habits, and be able to stop destroying my body, and just give it the freedom to just move. I'm going to be really focusing on class this week to get as much out of it as I can, so I can really apply it. Wish me luck!

Discussion - Practical - Session: Day Five

- DISCUSSION -

We had a reading to prepare for class today, which was basically a summary of Alexander Technique. There were a few points that I really liked; for one, it talked about how learning to move from an "embodied source" can free "the dancer from rigid holding patterns, or other constraints that bind thought, feeling, and action." It's like what we've talked about in class, how it's not about holding a place. If we are holding, it's very restricting. Like Glenna Batson said, it can "bind thought, feeling, and action." I thought it was really interesting that tension can restrict movement, but also thoughts and feelings. It's just another testament to me that movement and the body is a huge connection to our mind and spirit. They are all intertwined, and something that affects one will affect the others as well.

I also loved when Ms. Batson stated that "process takes precedence over product". It's like the saying we've all heard,

"It's about the journey, not the destination". There are several ways we could move to get to a certain "place", but the way we move to get there is going to affect how we feel once we're there. Will it be with a sense of rightness, and satisfaction? Or will it be discouragement and frustration?

We talked about some of this during our class discussion, plus a few other points. First, we mentioned how using the process of Inhibition (an Alexander principle), we can move "without interfering with the inherent laws of coordination" We figured out that basically that means we're allowing the body to move the way it was made to move. The "inherent laws of coordination" means that we are built this way for a purpose--our hands are at the ends of our arms, and not at the ends of our legs, because that is where they are the most useful. So we have to learn how to move by using what is given to us. This will go along with a practice we did a little bit later in the class.

Next we talked about having freedom in our movement, instead of simply copying. We can use the correct technique from a specific style, like Graham technique, and still be able to move from a place within, and make it our own. Then we moved on to the fact that we do still need to retain our technique as dancers, as it is the cornerstone in dance. As modern dancers, when we get to release technique, it may be easy to let go of our previous training and just move, but just as the Book of Mormon is the keystone of the Gospel, technique is the cornerstone of dance. You have to know and obey the rules before you can break them.

- PRACTICE -

The next exercise we did was really interesting. We had a partner, and an object. We used my wallet as our object. So here's what we did: one of us would hold the wallet up, and then drop it, and the other would catch it. Then we would switch, and take turns. Simple enough, right? But what we were focusing on was how our body was reacting in that split second. For myself, and it turned out for most of us, we were tensing up our whole bodies in order to catch our objects. In reality, though, all we need is our arms and hands. So I focused on just catching the darn wallet by only moving my hands, and not letting my whole body freak out. It was kind of difficult, but it made so much more sense. I just feel like it's stupid that I have to think so hard just to simplify my body's reactions. But it was a very eye-opening exercise.

- ONE.ON.ONE -

I got to have my first one-on-one session with Sister Wadsworth today. It was pretty short, but it was really nice. She had me lay in semi-supine position, and simply did the Alexander relaxation stuff, by taking my weight and such. She told me that I'm pretty good at tapping into these exercises, which may be from my previous Somatics training. We talked about how whenever I'm asked to give someone my weight, I'm totally willing. I'm very comfortable with letting all of my weight go, as long as there's someone I can trust to hold my weight for me. And yet, when I'm holding my own weight, I definitely hold tension. I feel like I can see this reflected in my personal life, as well...but I can't seem to put it in words at the moment. So I'll ponder, and post later...sooner or later.

Relaxation and Processing: Day Four

We only had class today for about half an hour, and then she's doing individual sessions for half the class. Because my last name starts with a "T", I obviously won't be having my individual session until Thursday. So that just leaves me with processing and journaling for today!

Class consisted of two things today: a ten-minute improv, and relaxation. The improv was used to get our bodies warm, and also as a medium for us to notice more what was happening to our bodies. We were looking for areas of tension, especially in the head/neck/back relationships.

After the warmup, we pulled out our mats and lay out in semi-supine position. We spent the next five or ten minutes (I'm a horrible judge of time...) just relaxing, and processing.

PROCESSING

Because I've been in Somatics before, I already pretty well know my areas of tension. One of my biggest ones is my neck/shoulder region. As I was laying on my mat, trying to relax, I noticed how difficult it is for me to relax my shoulders even while laying down. They seem to feel most

natural when pulling up into a tense place. It felt awkward to pull them down. I also noticed that the tension in my neck really seems to happen at about the middle of my neck, and works its way do

wn. The very top of my neck is fine, but then I get really tight around the mid-neck area.

At first, while I was laying on my mat, I was sort of just waiting, thinking that our teacher was going to come around and help us out with th

e relaxation a bit like she did last time. Then I realized that she probably wasn't going to, and figured I better get on it myself. As I did, I decided that I tend to rely on others too much, and that I need to start making things work for me on my own. So from there, I tried to focus on melting into the mat, lengthening, and releasing my tension. It definitely helped, though not quite as much as I would have liked it to. It's kind of frustrating to me, that I've already taken a Somatics course, and I still can't get myself to let go of these poor habits I've acquired. I suppose I just keep myself moving forward from here.

Improv and Hands On: Day Three

DISCUSSION:

The reading we had for today from our book was about body mapping.

Here's a quick summary of body mapping that came from the book: "Mapping refers to one's own idea and experience of structure, movement, and size. Body maps can be conscious or unconscious, but they always govern how we move. Body maps often deviate from the reality of anatomic structure; even then, they govern how we move."

So we talked about what body mapping means to us, and I just want to review some of the ideas that were mentioned.

Body mapping is learning how to move in your body. Everyone's body is different, and everyone holds different tensions. If you're trying to move according to someone else's body map, your movement is going to become restricted, and possibly even harmful and painful.

Body mapping is using information gained about the anatomy of the body to move from a correct place. Understanding that there are several very deep muscles will help to move from real places, instead of only trying to move superficially.

It is an understood concept that the brain and body work together. Without a brain, you can't move your body. But the question is...are we really allowing them to work together? As we gain new knowledge about how the body works, are we really applying that information to our movement? There was a quote from the reading that I loved that applied to this: "Correcting your body map...requires conscious thinking and a willingness to change."

I personally can relate to this. Through my learning in somatics, I have such a greater knowledge of how I should be using my body, and what I can do to be more efficient. But actually applying those principles is what makes changing so difficult. Once I start to dance, or even just move on a normal, daily basis, I automatically slip into bad habits. It's something you really have to focus and concentrate on.

One principle that has really rung true for me is to only use what you need. Nothing more, nothing less. In my previous dance training, I was always told to "pull up", or "tighten your center". Those put restricting forces on the body, and used way more tension than is ever necessary!

Something else I thought was interesting today, was when our teacher mentioned that people who grind their teeth at night tend to hold much more tension from their jaw, down their neck, and even in their shoulder region.

I'm a teeth grinder. If I don't grind, I know I definitely clench. And my neck and shoulders are a huge area of tension for me. I can always tell that I'm super restricted in that area. So I'm going to see if there's anything I can do about that teeth grinding business.

HANDS ON:

We did The Walk that we did last class again, with having a partner help our awareness to our head and neck relationship. It's amazing how much repetition can help ingrain something in my brain and body. So we continued with that, and then discussed where we are now with that exercise.

One of my classmates mentioned that she's understanding the relationship better, and can feel the energy flow better. The image she used was a water fountain with a ball on the top: she can feel the energy going through her body, and then her head just rests on top with simple ease.

Then we did an exercise (again with our same partners) where we sat in a chair. First, we just stood up, and our partner watched to see what kind of relationship our head, neck, and back had during the process. We did it a few times, and they saw how disconnected we were. So we sat down again, where our partner again helped us with our awareness of our head/neck relationship. It was interesting, because at first it was kind of painful trying to sit with correct alignment in those particular chairs, just because of the slope the seat was designed with. But then, as we lengthened, and became more at ease, it wasn't quite so bad anymore.

Anyway, from there, they helped us stand up. Just a simple movement, just forward and up. None of this "I'm going to jut my chin out as far as it will go, and then hope the rest of my body will follow" business. In fact, we even made our teacher tear up a bit, because apparently standing up with more efficiency was that beautiful. Who knew?

From there we did a relaxation segment. We just laid down on our mats with a book under our heads, and our teacher came around and helped us maintain that healthy head/neck relationship. Then we laid there for probably 7 or 8 minutes, and just pondered on what we've talked about today.

I actually ended up feeling a little bit frustrated. While I'm in class, or when I'm studying for this class on my own, everything makes sense, and I can feel my body making the changes it needs to. But then as soon as I start dancing, or I simply start living my normal life, all of those changes just go out the window. I want so badly for these changes to stick, and to be able to apply these principles all the time. I'm really hoping that I'll be able to find the connection very soon.

Modern Tech

This semester, I'm really hoping to be able to apply what I learn in Somatics to my technique classes, other rehearsals, and just in my daily lifestyle.

In Modern 440 today, we started class by doing a shortened version of the head/neck/back awareness exercise that we did yesterday. I was really glad, because it was just a nice little reminder of what I needed to be focusing on.

Throughout class, I think I noticed a fairly subtle change and improvement in my movement. It may have just been because I'm getting to know the warmup and the combinations better, and it's settling into muscle memory...but I would like to think that it's also partly because I was apply this Alexander technique, and allowing freedom to come in my head/neck region. I'm hoping this improvement is just a sign of changes to come.

Class and Insights: Day Two

We were asked to read a talk by Sara Lee Gibb called Our Mortal Body--A Sacred Gift, so we could discuss it in further detail once we got to class.

This talk really rang true for me. I highly recommend this talk for any and every person.

We talked a lot about how the body is a vehicle for the spirit, and how it's so important to nourish the body so that our spirit has a well-fed place to reside. What we do with our bodies affects our spirits more than one would think. One of the things that I really thought was fascinating in this talk was when she mentioned the story about when Christ cast the evil spirits out from the bodies of mortals, how they asked to go into the bodies of swine. Even those evil spirits realize the incredible privilege of having a body—so much so, that they were willing to be even in the body of swine, just for the sake of having a body.

Then Sister Wadsworth introduced us to the Alexander technique. We learned some of the vocabulary, and then we did some tactile work with a partner. We were focusing on the head, neck, and back. We did this exercise where our partner would place their thumb and middle finger on our mastoid processes (right behind the ear....you can Google it if you want specifics), and just held it for a minute to help us gain a stronger awareness of where we were in the space. Then they moved our heads from side to side, then all around. From there, they walked us around, guiding us by those processes. It was an incredible, floating feeling, and it made walking such a pleasant experience. Then they did a forward and up sort of motion, by helping our necks feel elongated, and moving their hands along our neck, shoulders, and trapezius areas to help us release some tension.

I thought it felt incredible. After we finished, we sat down and discussed what we experienced, and it turns out it was actually really uncomfortable for some people. This has to do with where each individual holds their tension, and what bad habits they've carried with them. I have the benefit of having taken this Somatics course just last semester, so I've learned how to enjoy correct movement, regardless of my tension or bad habits.

By the end of the class, I was breathing much easier, and I felt much more open--both physically and mentally. Breathing is one of the things I struggle with the most...both due to bad habits, and also because of physical and emotional struggles. Because of this, I will likely refer to my breathing patterns throughout this process.

Edit: I know the Title says Day Two....and I don't have a Day One. That's just because on day one we mostly just went over the syllabus.

Allow Me Introduce You

So here's my new blog.

Why do I have it, you ask?

I'll tell you why.

I'm a dance major at Brigham Young University - Idaho, and for my major we get to take a Somatics class. And I've had people ask me several times what somatics is. And I always have kind of a hard time describing it to them. The best I can come up with is that it's sort of a connection of body, mind, and spirit. It's a way of learning a greater awareness of oneself through movement, which then applies to every area of our lives.

So, for this class, we are required to keep a journal. So then I just figured since so many people have asked me about it, and since I'll be typing up my journals anyways, I might as well put them in a place where people can read them if they so choose. And if no one reads this, that's fine too. Really, I think it will help me stay on top of my journaling, and will help me out a ton in the long run.

So here we go! My entries will vary from what we've discussed in class, to how I've applied it in other classes (or just in daily life), or even just simple discoveries I've made on my own. It may be really interesting at times, and it may be very dull at others.

Let's get this journey going! :)