Partnering and One On One

Today was kind of a monumental day for me. I can't even necessarily put my finger on the reason why. We started off by doing some primary control, as usual, and of course that always feels really nice to me. I did notice, though, how it differs a little each time depending on who I'm partnering with. Sometimes I feel like they don't use enough pressure, sometimes it's too much, and sometimes it's just right. I should really start paying attention to who I like to partner with the most, haha. Okay, or just so I can be aware of the changes and differences, and how it affects me. Today I was paired with Kamrie, and I think she used a good light touch, but her fingers didn't quite seem to be where I wanted them to be...but not a big deal.

After doing the primary control, we did this new thing. Kamrie put her hand on the top of my head, and then I just did some improv. It's supposed to help me be more aware of my head and the top of my spine...but I didn't really love it. I think I was too focused on trying to make sure she could keep up with me. I was being too careful, and it was causing me to tense up. I think I tend to be the kind of person that likes to do things herself...so this may be a reason why I felt like I was responsible for making sure she was able to keep her hand on my head.

But, I really really enjoyed the reverse....her doing improv while I had my hand on her head. I feel like I was breathing a lot more, and I was sort of feeling her energy come up through my arm, so I felt like I was dancing with her. I can't even really explain it, but it just felt nice to sort of be the active observer.

Then I had my one on one. We did table/mat work today, which I'm always really happy with. We did a lot more talking today than usual, but I thought it was really helpful. We talked about how I keep having a hard time breathing (not just about remembering to do it, but it's physically difficult), and that I just can't seem to get a full breath all the time. She told me that she has some asthma, and that it's a possibility that I may have it too....so I'm thinking (yet again) that I should go get it checked out. Maybe soon.

At one point, Sister Wadsworth told me that Sister Dienhart had said to her that she has seen me improving! In ballet! That came as a shock to me. I mean, I know that ballet hasn't been horrible this semester, where usually it's kind of painful in my body, but I didn't really think I was improving at all. Then Sister Wadsworth told me that she has seen me improving, too. This all really was quite a boost. I feel like I've really been struggling this semester, but talking with Sister Wadsworth today sort of just helped me realize that I'm doing a lot of movement that I'm not as familiar with. Really, I'm doing movement that I'm not as comfortable with. I'm really not a huge fan of classical type movement, whether it's modern or ballet, so I've sort of done everything I can to avoid it. And before, whenever I did have to do it, I just always dreaded it, and just grit my teeth and did it. Now, however, I've decided to gain all I can from these classes, and apparently it's paying off! It was just a really good validation for my efforts. It gave me the boost I didn't realize I needed.