__________________________________________
Ellie* is my roommate, and I've known her for most of my college life. Hence, I've seen her in several different types of settings. When she is in a social setting, Ellie is very confident, and enjoys having attention. She tends to use her hands a lot when telling stories. In fact, she uses her whole body, along with sound effects, to tell stories. However, it does depend on what kind of story she's telling, and who her audience is. She's very animated when she gets excited, and when she has a large audience. But then when it's something a little more serious, or more personal, she is usually sitting back as she talks. I have noticed that she does still like to do something with her hands as she talks, though. Whether it's nursing a bottle of Sprite, or playing with a pillow in her lap, or the frayed edge of her pants, her hands are almost always doing something. It's this that shows me her lack of self-confidence. Anyone who wouldn't notice this would never realize that she is insecure...she really seems very sure of herself and confident. Then, as I talk to her, and watch her, I realize that there is much she is not confident in. Her hands are her go-to for situations in which she feels awkward.
Then, as I spend more time with her, I see how she acts when she is truly comfortable in her surroundings. Her body is less tense, and she seems to breathe more. Her approach to daily tasks—eating, getting ready, doing homework—almost seem lazy in comparison to how excitedshe is in larger group settings. She does still like to have attention, but seems to be more aware of how people around her are responding.
Her body language is also different when she is in a spiritual setting. It's an interesting blend of being casual/comfortable, and yet still respectful. She gets a bit more soft-spoken (relatively speaking) when speaking of religious or spiritual topics. Her body is set more forward than when she's doing a regular daily activity, like homework, but lacks the “excitement” and tension that she gets when in a larger group setting.
The last setting I've been able to observe her in is when she's with her boyfriend. She acts quite different around him. She generally seems completely happy to just observe, and to let him be the talker. She sort of gets this relaxed posture, with her shoulders curved a bit forward. She really doesn't even do anything with her hands, either, but just sits and watches, talking when she feels the need.
I've come to realize that I can just watch how Ellie is holding herself, or if she's excessively using her hands, and I'll be able to see whether she's at ease, or whether she feels awkward or uncomfortable.
__________________________________________
Guy* is my supervisor at the call center where I work, but we do get to interact with him on a few different levels throughout the workday. The first thing I noticed was how he acts when he's on the phone with a customer. He is always very eager to help whoever he's talking to, and tries really hard to tell them everything they need to know. I can see this just in the way he holds himself. He is almost always leaning forward, and will talk with his hands, even though the customer can't see him. Even his face is very expressive...he really uses his eyes and eyebrows to punctuate his sentences, as if to emphasize his point.
Whenever he's not on the phone, or doing something else directly related to his job, he usually just comes over to hang out with us, so we get to see him in more of a casual, social setting. When he does, he usually just sits on the table next to us, and takes on a more casual posture....shoulders more relaxed, and his back less upright. However, if we're all just hanging out and chatting, and then someone asks him a question that is related to work, his demeanor does change. He snaps right back into his supervisor role, and will almost always sit up a little straighter. It's actually kind of impressive that he can switch back and forth so quickly.
There are times when he gets to talk to us one on one about how we're doing, and to go over any questions we may have. I've seen him act a couple of different ways in this situation. He either sits in the same sort of position as when he's talking to a customer on the phone—like leaning forward, with his forearms on his legs. Or else he's very casual, leaning back in the chair, putting his feet up on the table, etc. I haven't really had enough time to find a real pattern in this, except that maybe he's trying to decide what is most effective for him.
With Guy, it was mostly just interesting to me how he could switch back and forth so quickly, and efficiently, really.
__________________________________________
Luke* is a friend in my ward. He's in my FHE group, he's a Sunday school teacher, and he's working on advertising for his new business. These all provided me with plenty of different situations to evaluate him in. First, in just a normal social setting, he's a pretty casual guy. He's very relaxed, and doesn't seem to hold too much tension anywhere. He's content to sort of sit back and let conversation happen, but will give his input when he sees fit. I did notice that when he was contributing to a conversation, he would sit more on the edge of his seat, and lean forward more, but without adding any extra tension. He doesn't use very many gestures when speaking, either.
As a Sunday school teacher, he holds himself a little straighter than he normally does. Not in a tense way, but more of an upstanding, confident way. He still doesn't use very many gestures as he speaks, and doesn't move around the room very much either. He is pretty stationary as he teaches, but he makes it work very effectively. I think it kind of puts the students in the room at ease...I know that sometimes, when teachers constantly pace the room, it can make the students anxious or nervous.
If I had to say that Luke has tension in one area of his life, I would say it's in his business that he's trying to build. Whenever he is trying to promote it, or when I ask him about it, he tends to get a little bit more rigid in his stature. I can just tell that he's pretty stressed in that area, and just wants to be able to control the outcome, even though he can't.
So, to sum things up, I would say that Luke is generally a laid-back type person, and doesn't get stressed very easily. He's confident in himself and his abilities
__________________________________________
Lane* is my best friend, so I didn't really think I would be surprised at all at my findings from observing her this week. I was only partially right. What I discovered only added to my knowledge of who she is.
First of all, when she gets excited about something, whether it's while doing something or while telling a story, she gets very animated in her body language. She's actually pretty spastic, especially with her arms. It doesn't really matter who she's talking to or who she's with...if she's excited, she's going to act how she feels! And on the other hand, when she's more subdued, she hardly uses her hands. But, I did notice that she actually uses her head a lot. When she's agreeing, she nods vigorously. When she disagrees, she shakes her head just as hard. Or, if she's just really passionate about whatever the subject is, just her head will come forward and lean in.
I also noticed that when she's talking to a member of the opposite sex, she tends to lean in even further during the conversation than she would normally. I've mentioned this to her, and she had no idea that she was doing it.
Mostly what I've noticed about Lane is her ability to make every single person she interacts with feel special. It's really all in her body language. She's not afraid to be open and friendly with someone she just barely met, and she's always very involved in every conversation she has.
*Names have been changed
No comments:
Post a Comment